I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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