Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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