Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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