I love black thongs
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
