But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
