My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
zippers are such a cool invention
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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