You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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