my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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