We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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