What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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