yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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