Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize