I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
