i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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