At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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