just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You did what with his pubic hair?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
