Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He is an equal opportunity slut.
zippers are such a cool invention
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
