Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm getting married
To pizza
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
