just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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