whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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