I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My vagina is officially offended.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
