Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
