....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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