I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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