I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
