i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she smelled like a LAN party
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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