Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
