how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you inspire me to be a worse person
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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