you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
