i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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