Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
