New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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