I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
