Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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