youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
