eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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