piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
