Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
