i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
