Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
