my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She is in my trunk
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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