can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize