We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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