she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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