Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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