Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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