I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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