chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
