how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
