ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
