you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
