Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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