she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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