I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
