What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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