I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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