I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
