a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
